It's been almost five years since I first became a new parent and so much has happened in the time since then, but I'll never forget those early days. Between the lack of sleep and the recovery from giving birth, everything passes by in a bit of a blur. Somehow though, you manage to make it through. But with the help of good friends and family, the whole process can be made much easier.

Verity (@mummasparks)

A good friend of mine recently gave birth to her second child and I was certain that with the help of her husband and their loved ones, they would be absolutely fine. After all, they'd been there once before. But I wanted to be there for them, to show my love and support and I got to thinking, what kind of things could I do for them? How could I be helpful, whilst respecting their need for time to enjoy those precious first days at home? After taking some time to consider and reading many anecdotes about the kinds of help other Mums had received, I suddenly found I had plenty of ideas for ways I could support them. Naturally, I wanted to share them with you here.

Drop off a cooked meal

Let's face it, when you've just given birth, cooking is probably right at the bottom of your list of priorities. But neither are you up to eating out (unless they're ok with you turning up unshowered and in your pyjamas) and surviving on takeaways isn't always the most nutritious option, especially if you're breastfeeding. Having someone drop round a home-cooked meal, the kind that only needs to be reheated in the oven or microwave can really be an answer to your prayers. If you're wanting to be even more practical in supporting a new parent, why not prepare a few that can be stored in the freezer before the baby arrives so they're always a healthy and hearty meal available, whatever the time of day.

Bring snacks

With a new routine to settle in to and sometimes long stretches between main meals, having a number of snacks to choose from is really handy. I can't think of anything nicer than a delivery of snacks to keep you going, a 'snack hamper' if you will, with a good mix of healthy options and a few treats too.

Offer to come over and do some housework

While some chores are ok to put off a little longer, there are always a few things that can not be neglected, especially if the new parent you're supporting has other children. Having someone pop round and offer to do the dishes, iron school uniforms and prepare packed lunches can be a huge weight lifted.

If they have other children, offer to stay with them or take them out for a few hours

When I became a mother, I remember someone saying to me 'Nap when the baby naps'. Not really possible if you already have children! Having someone you trust to take care of the little ones, even for just a short while, can give a new parent a few precious moments of peace and rest.

Offer to watch their baby while they have a shower

Self-care is the first step in giving yourself the strength to face any situation. You may be reconciled to the fact that fashion has taken a back seat for now, and that hair and makeup have to wait, but nothing beats a warm shower to help you feel refreshed and ready. Having someone be there, to give you a little time to pamper yourself even just a little bit, is just wonderful.

Ask them how they're feeling and listen openly and compassionately without giving advice

The early days of parenthood are without a doubt, emotional. Tiredness mixes with joy, fear and feelings of love you didn't know were even possible and often, talking about how you feel is a great way to work through it all. As someone supporting a new parent, your job isn't necessarily being able to come up with the solution, but instead just being there to listen and understand.

Don't overstay - be sensitive to the time and space they need, even if it's not communicated

Hopefully, you will know your friend or loved one well enough to know whether they prefer to have someone close by or need a little more space and time on their own. Don't be afraid to ask how long they are happy to have visitors and don't take it personally if they're not ready.

Be a source of love and encouragement

If there's one thing a new parent isn't short of, it's congratulations on the arrival of their baby. But it's also good to let them know they're doing a great job. There are lots of great thoughtful cards and gifts out there that you could give them and even if they aren't ready for visitors just yet, a few words of love and encouragement, even by text message, go a long way to helping them feel good.

What did you need from your friends after your baby arrived? Let us know in the comments.

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