My daughter Tilly will be celebrating her third birthday this month. When I look back over everything she has learned in the short amount of time she has been in our lives, I am filled with pride and happiness. Our tiny little baby has already grown into a determined little girl, filled with an enormous personality. She is truly so full of life and (apart from a short spell where she was scared about getting wet in puddles) has remained fearless in everything new she has encountered.

Next week is National Weaning Week so I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to share our story about how we introduced Tilly to solid foods in her first year. This story is especially significant, as this is one of those moments that has already made me so proud of her.

By six months Tilly was able to sit up and if she was on my lap while I ate, her curiosity was piqued enough that she would often try to grab at the food on my plate. I had by now begun to explore options for weaning, as it was clear that this was the time for us to start.

I was already familiar with the more traditional method of pureeing. This is where you the parent spoon-feeds your baby blended purees of vegetables or even meats such as chicken and requires plenty of preparation beforehand, such as steaming and mashing softer foods ahead of meal times. However, after reading plenty of articles online and listening to real stories about its benefits, I was certain that baby-led weaning was the right approach for us. A baby-led approach is where your baby learns to feed herself with her own hands, from the start. Preparation for this means that food needs to be cut into adult-finger-sized portions so that your baby can hold it, like carrot, broccoli, mango, or toast fingers.

Why did I choose the baby-led approach?

They way that I see it, whichever method you choose, it has to be right for you and your family. Remember, it’s not about weaning babies off breastmilk or formula but instead is about weaning them onto solids. It’s true that when you start to introduce solid food by either method, your baby will at some point start to decline in her milk consumption. However, with baby-led weaning it’s your baby who is in charge of how long that process takes, as she begins to go beyond just exploring tastes and textures, to actually eating the foods you introduce at mealtimes.

Starting our Baby-Led Weaning Journey

When I explained the process of baby-led weaning to my husband Lex, at first he wasn’t totally onboard, in fact he was quite worried. Tilly was so tiny, was she really ready? What if she choked? As confident as I felt about it, I had to admit I shared his concerns. Fortunately, I found a wonderful support Baby Led Weaning group on Facebook where I was able to read about lots of parents’ experiences and find answers to our questions.

Tilly’s first experience of solid food was with a carrot stick. She curiously looked it over, grasped it with her whole hand and popped the end into her mouth to explore the taste and texture. After a while, she spat the carrot out and looked very pleased about the whole thing. Then she had another go. It was clear that she was enjoying herself, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what do next with the carrot in her hand. Encouraged by this success we continued on this way for a couple more weeks, eventually moving on to toast fingers. As time went on she began to mush the food around inside her mouth. This led to her learning to swallow tiny bits of food and whilst she didn’t choke she did gag, and yes it was scary. But thankfully, I knew to expect it.

Gagging vs Choking

A baby’s gag reflex starts high up in the mouth and over time with more experience of solid foods, moves further to the back of the throat like that of an adult. It’s really important to have a distinction between gagging – which is a safety mechanism that safeguards against choking by bringing large pieces of food forward to be chewed – and real choking. Gagging is noisy, you will hear coughing and spluttering, whilst choking is silent. As a parent your instinct is to intervene immediately but trying to fish out that piece of food could cause them to choke if it accidentally got pushed into the back of their throat. It could even scare your baby so it is important to train your eyes and ears to learn the difference. Intervention isn’t always necessary because gagging is part of the process by which your baby will learn to chew their food.

Learning as we went

The one thing I hadn’t been prepared for was just how messy baby led weaning would be! At first, Tilly would hold her food in her fist to put it into her mouth or wipe her hands in and all over it on the table. Inevitably food ended up all over her and all over the highchair. Plenty of it fell overboard onto the floor too (this pleased my two dogs enormously). But none of this was a problem, it was just part of her journey in discovering all the qualities these new foods had to offer. We ended up purchasing several items to help her master what she was doing, as well as some things that would help reduce the mess (I’ve included a recommended shopping list at the end of this blog).

Babies discover their pincer grip around 7-9 months. This means they can open up their hand and pick up little items of food with the thumb and index finger. This new-found control is so much fun to watch as they discover more and opens up even more food possibilities at mealtimes.

The next steps

As Tilly started to master swallowing her food we began to give her the same foods that we were eating, like for instance spaghetti bolognaise. By this point she was unafraid of new tastes and textures and happily ate many of the new foods we introduced. She soon developed clear favourites, especially prawns, olives and pickles. One of the best things about reaching this stage was that we could now take her out to meals with us. Many of our friends live away and when they come to visit we often eat out a lot. It was around this time that we went on holiday and ate out every night, I remember how funny it was when other people seemed shocked and surprised to such a tiny little girl, well under a year old, tucking in to a plate of prawns.

Looking back, choosing a baby-led weaning approach and being as prepared as possible, made it a success for us. If you’re still unsure, I would recommend joining an online community where you can ask plenty of questions and find real stories, just like my own. As a quick roundup of my thoughts, here are what I consider to be the most important pros and cons of baby-led weaning, along with some of my best tips and a list of handy things to have when you start out.

Let’s start with the ‘Pro’s’

Baby-led weaning enables your baby to quickly develop an awareness of her own hunger, as she learns to listen to her own body.

Once swallowing is mastered, your baby eats what you eat. There’s almost nothing that you can’t let her try.

It becomes easier to eat healthy, you can plan family meals that can be shared with your baby so the whole family eats fresh food, without additives of preservatives.

Preparing fresh food enables you to work around any allergies.

Your food won’t get cold because you can all eat at the same time.

When you go out it’s easier because you can give your baby something from your plate or order for them as opposed to bringing something from home. This can allow you to be more spontaneous and social when eating with others.

Baby-led weaning is fun, it’s a joy to see your baby’s reactions to different tastes and textures.

And like anything, there are a couple of ‘Con’s’

Yes, it can sometimes be scary the first time you hear them gag. In only a short time, you’ll know what your baby’s eating noises sound like and by paying careful attention to her feeding you’ll know immediately if any intervention is required.

Other people can sometimes be very sceptical about it and are often unafraid to share their opinions. This is unfortunate, but as long as you’re confident in the research you’ve done and if you’ve connected with other mums taking a baby-led weaning approach, you’ll have a good network of support.

It’s messy! But hey, you already change nappies multiple times a day, right?

Your dog may put on weight…

Here are my top tips for starting out on a Baby-Led Weaning journey:

Don’t start before six months and wait until your baby can sit up independently. Flopping back could cause choking.

“Food before 1 is just for fun”. Don’t worry if all your baby decides to at first is just play with her food. In the first year she will still get everything she needs from her milk.

Explore as many flavours before 9 months as possible as taste-buds change at that stage.

If you’re learning to become familiar with your baby’s eating noises, including when they’re gagging, sit on your hands to stop yourself from rushing to help when it’s not necessary.

Cut up food into adult-finger-sized portions.

Any foods the size of their windpipe (grapes, hot dogs etc) are to be cut lengthways to prevent them from getting stuck.

Offer your baby water while they are eating.

No honey and no salt to be introduced before your baby is 1 year old.

Finally, here’s a shopping list of some of my favourite items that will help you with your baby-led weaning journey:

Ikea Antilop Highchair and Cushion

Numnum spoon

Munchkin Weighted Straw Cup

An ‘Ez Pz’ mat/bowl

Many, many bibs, with long-sleeves to protect your baby’s clothes.

A dog. Maybe two dogs, to hoover up the bits that fall off the table!